Born: Launceston TAS
Nicknames: Mort, The Botanist
Life Achievement: injuring nearly every part of my body, drinking an entire bottle of vodka in an hour
Occupation: Finance manager
Favourite position: Forward line
AFL club: Melbourne Demons
Other hobbies: Drinking, golf, lego
Favourite player: David Neitz
Best pickup line: "Horizontally most men are the same height"
Favourite Quote: "Will there ever been a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?"